There was a priest who decided to enter a monastery. This monastery had strict vows of silence. On his first day, the head abbot told him he could only speak two words every ten years.At the end of his first ten years, the head abbot told him he could speak his first two words. "Bed hard!" he said. The abbot recorded this in a book.At the end of his second ten years, he was told he could speak his next two words. "Food bad!" he said. The abbot recorded this in the book as well.At the end of the third ten years, he was allowed to speak his next two words. "I quit!" he stated."Well that doesn't surprise me," said the abbot. The record shows you've done nothing by complain for the past thirty years!"

"Every new day is another chance to change your life."
-null

I was traveling from Chesterton to Newcastle recently when I came across a sign which had fallen off its post at the crossroads. It was marked to Newcastle, Chesterton, Knutton and Silverdale. Unfortunately I didn't know which road to take to Newcastle and had hoped the sign would help. Luckily, I had a great idea which helped me put the sign back up pointing correctly to Newcastle. What was my idea? I simply pointed Chesterton back the way I had come and this left the sign in its correct orientation.

"Reality does not conform to the ideal, but confirms it."
-Gustave Flaubert

Why couldn't G-Unit take the bus? They only had 50 cent!

"Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in."
-Napoleon Bonaparte

"Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it."
-Ralph Emerson

"He that is giddy thinks the world turns round."
-William Shakespeare

"To want to be what one can be is purpose in life."
-Cynthia Ozick

"I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime."
-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross