A city mouse had a country mouse stay for the weekend, and spent the whole time offering urban advice. On the last evening of the country mouse's visit, they were dining in the kitchen when in came the largest cat the country mouse had ever seen. "Don't panic," said the town mouse, "Leave this to me." Marching up to the cat she said, "Bow wow wow wow! The cat turned and ran from the room. "How did you do that?" asked the country mouse. "Like I told you," said the town mouse, "it pays to learn a second language."

"Each man has his own vocation; his talent is his call. There is one direction in which all space is open to him."
-Ralph Emerson

"It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it."
-General Douglas MacArthur

Grow some dope... plant a man.

"The Creator has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do."
-Orison Marden

Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.

"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something."
-null

What does NASCAR stand for? Non Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks

"Live through feeling and you will live through love. For feeling is the language of the soul, and feeling is truth."
-Matt Zotti

One guy went to see a doctor because he had a hearing problem, so he met his friend and the conversation began! First guy: "Did the doctor give you your test results?" Second guy: "Yeah. Looks like all those years of phone sex caught up with me. I have hearing AIDS."